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THE WEEK May 6: Uncle Armour

Updated: 2016-05-06
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)

Ladies "first" only

Groping. Such a nasty word following a nasty action. And there's been a whole lot of nasty going on in public buses recently. So much so, that a bus company in Henan province's Zhengzhou city decided to launch female only buses on one of their routes. And if you've ever been to Zhengzhou before, you know the 906 bus is badass! Remember back in the day, that bus had Air Conditioning? Oh, those were the days. Anyways, it seems like the all-female 906 bus is going to become a trend setter. Pretty soon, buses will be like change rooms, one for girls and one for boys. But this is going to take some time to get used to. A Zhengzhou resident named Zhu, you know, Zhu from Zhengzhou, anyway he was waiting for the 906 bus when he accidently walked into the all girls 906 bus. Zhu was immediately kicked off the bus, back on the side of the road, forced to wait for the unisex 906 bus. With the all female bus, we can rest assured that groping will be eliminated forever, and ladies, get on the all-girls bus girls, you're "one of us" now, right Lorna?

This next guy, a Chinese man in Baoding, Hebei Province, wants no part of any bus. Nothing is going to stop this man and his dog. That's right, new footage of a man and his dog broke the internet in China with a mixed reaction. Some find this funny, an old man being dragged around town by his dog. But others say it's another careless action towards animals and that the dog should be taken from the man. But then, how would the man get around? And wait, how is this even allowed on the road? Do you need a license to operate one of these. And what is that? A wooden carriage? So many questions, so little answers. But among many things that's not right about this video, is the whip in the man's right hand. No dog should have to go through being whipped because the owner is too lazy to walk. Let the poor little puppy live, random Chinese man…

Uncle Armour
Finally, protect this house! That's the slogan for American sports apparel company Under Armour. Well I've got a message for you Under Armour, practice what you preach! That's right, you better protect your house because China is coming. A brand new Chinese sports apparel company raised a few eyebrows after it appears to have completely ripped off Under Armour. Uncle Martin, I mean Under Armour, no no, it's Uncle Martin right? yeah just making sure… they look and sound exactly the same so… anyways Uncle Martin has officially launched in China, and a lot of people are saying it looks exactly like the multibillion dollar American company. Really? Now that I think about it… Yeah it looks exactly the same. Well this is actually not the first time a Chinese company knocked off an American sports brand, Sorry Jo-Dan. And from MJ's experience in the court room where he lost to the Chinese knockoff who said "there are many people named Jordan, this doesn't mean Michael Jordan", Under Armour is going to have to unleash an all out blitz to "protect this house". I've got an idea, instead of settling it in the court of law, settle it in the court of basketball, with Under Armour's best basketball player against Uncle Martin's best basketball player.


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