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THE WEEK

THE WEEK Apr 29: Hero cop

Updated: 2016-04-29
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)
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Hero cop
We begin with a traffic patrol officer in Hangzhou city, Zhejiang province who saved hundreds if not thousands of lives. Tasked with the almost impossible job of directing Chinese traffic, this officer noticed something rather odd on the pavement. After careful examination, the officer noticed the pavement cracking. An earthquake maybe? Well the officer didn't want to take any chances. So what did he do? He ran, of course. But it's where he ran to. Stick with me here. There's nothing that's going to stop this traffic officer from keeping the traffic flowing smoothly. So he placed orange cones around the fragile area before witnessing… A SINK HOLE. Cars made their way around the sinkhole and continued on with their commute as if nothing happened. Seems like an everyday thing in Hangzhou. Anyways, thanks to the heroic effort of this now international traffic cop celebrity, nobody. I'm calling it right now …. You my friend are the traffic cop of the year!

Cop gift
Sometimes, officers are given gifts. Who doesn't like gifts? Well there's no better gift than what this officer was given by two "sophisticated" Anhui Province women. Oh these women were smart. They would turn $30,000 into $125,000 in less than 30 minutes? How'd they do it? They spent $30,000 cash to buy $125,000 of fake cash. I know what you're thinking; this is not a smart idea. But wait, the guy who sold them the fake cash said, "look, I'll show you… this really works as real cash." So he took a real note from the top (you know, the old real money on the top and fake money on the bottom trick) and spent it with immediate success. The women were convinced. But when they realized the majority of the money was in fact ridiculously fake, they went to the police. "Ummm hi, we bought some fake money, but it's not really good fake money, so we want to report this guy". The two women were immediately arrested while the Chinese officer took $125,000 in fake money off the streets. Way to go boyz! I mean… girls….

Cop block
And finally, it wouldn't be a cop edition of THE WEEK without some hard hitting investigative work by China's finest officers. In Chongqing, a divorced woman surnamed Chen came home after a long day at work. She opened the front door only to notice that the balcony door was wide opened. When she looked down, there was a pair of men's shoes there. Now remember, Miss Chen is divorced therefore there should be no men's shoes in the house. Quickly, she called the cops and quickly they arrived. - So far so good right? It gets better. - They surveyed the area and followed a trail of bread crumbs that led them all the way to a closet. As they opened the closet, a 20-year old man said was sleeping; he woke up and said "did I oversleep?" Yeah right buddy! Apparently, the man had stolen from the building before, but when he got to Miss Chen's apartment, he saw a photo of her on the wall and thought she was cute. So he raided the fridge, cooked two sausages, drank nine bottles of yogurt, and ate half a loaf of bread before passing out in the closest. The man was arrested and charged with theft and breaking and entering. Credit some fine police work. Every crime has a trail, and they followed it right to…. the…. Closet….?

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