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THE WEEK Aprl 8: Panda style

Updated: 2016-04-08
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)
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Panda-cakes
There's a time every year, where two pandas face off in not so much a battle but a rated R scene that would make Woody Allen movies seem PG 13. In China, there's a channel called iPanda that broadcasts a live feed of everything pandas are doing, and I mean everything. This past week, the pandas have been keeping themselves busy during "mating season". Now porn is still illegal in China, but that doesn't count for Panda porn. You see Panda porn gets a pass. Why? Well we are not too sure. Nevertheless, each year hundreds of thousands of netizens tune into a regular session of good ol' fashion Panda porn. From what's been reported, pandas have adopted the patented position from their doggy cousins among other wild routines. Panda breeding season runs from March to May, so the next time you eat your breakfast panda-cakes, you know what to watch. Mmmm, panda-cakes.

Balloony-weds
Ahh marriage. Such a wonderful ceremony with the bride and groom looking fancy in his tuxedo and her overpriced wedding dress. Well except for this Chinese couple. A groom who wanted no part of the inflated wedding dress decided to inflate his own by inflating 600 balloons, tying them together to create…. Well, whatever this is. In Qingdao, China, 25-year-old Lu Kepeng and his soon to be bride took the streets to take rather odd wedding photos. Apparently, Lu wanted to show how dedicated he was to his fiancé so he spent the night doing this thing all by himself. Looks like she really did take his breath away. The bride is now one stinky tofu away from becoming a true hot air balloon. Good luck to the both of you!

Mo' Money Mo' Problems
A Chinese woman was feeling a tad bit lonely. And apparently, there's a steep price to pay for loneliness. How does $108,000 sound? That's the price this woman paid to a matchmaking company to set her up with a rich Chinese man. Now don't get me wrong, this matchmaking company tried their best. They set her up with 43 rich Chinese men who just couldn't please the lonely woman. She said none of them met her expectations. So now she's pissed, and wants her money back. When the company said no refunds, she hired some debt collectors to collect. The matchmaking company reportedly said the woman was "just too picky" and brought police into the matter because they claim the debt collectors had threatened its staff.

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