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THE WEEK Apr 1: Gotta go

Updated: 2016-04-01
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)

Soap run

We begin today's show at the Qingyuan marathon in south China's Guangdong province where 20,000 runners participated in this year's event. The Qingyuan marathon organizers granted each individual runner a complimentary gift box which included water and the cleanest "energy bars" ever created. So off they were, the runners begin their quest in the Qingyuan marathon as volunteers follow closely to make sure everything was ok. But there was one problem, the "energy bars" were being wasted after the runners took one bite out of them. Why you ask? Because those aren't energy bars at all, those are soap bars. Yes, a soap company donated their soap bars to the marathon who then put it in the lunch boxes for the runners convenience. Out of the 20,000 marathon runners, 12,000 had problems such as spasms, sprains, bruises, faintness, or stomachaches. No… Really? One of the event hosts said, "The soap packages indeed look like food packages. It is our mistake." It's a good thing this race wasn't in Beijing, otherwise "Robber Ducks" would have been all over those soap bars. (get it… Beijing robber ducks)

High risk

We've all seen a wide load vehicle while driving. We've all seen an oversized vehicle while driving. But what do we call this? According the guy who posted this on a Chinese social media outlet, this man stacked his electric bicycle with styrofoam boxes. Why so many styrofoam boxes? Well he can sell them of course. The real question here is, how is this guy aloud driving on the road? No wait, the real question is how can all these boxes stay put? No, no, the real question is HOW CAN THIS GUY SEE WHERE HE'S GOING? The best response from a Chinese commentator was, "the risk factor here is too high". Ya think?

Gotta go

And I know we always run this story and it can get quite repetitive, but seriously, how many times does this actually happen? So here it is, another Chinese passenger in another Chinese flight opening the emergency exit in a Chinese airplane. Last week we presented you with the guy who used the emergency handle to "roll down the window", this week it's the Chinese grandma who thought the Emergency exit was the washroom. The plane was getting ready to take off from Chongqing airport when this grandma had an emergency of her own, so instead of dealing with it in the washroom, she saw EMERGENCY on the door and just went for it! The flight bound for Shenzhen experienced a two-hour delay. All this because the grandma didn't want to wait in line. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.


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