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THE WEEK Dec 25: Big mistake

Updated: 2015-12-25
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)

Big mistake

STEVE HARVEY! You were selected from a list of highly qualified game show hosts to be the presenter of Miss Universe 2015. You were the man, you got to stand up there and be surrounded by beautiful women all day. They smiled at you and you smiled back. But then you messed up, you really messed up. You had one job, and that was to read from a card. Once you failed to do that all, all those women who were smiling at you now hated you. STEVE HARVEY awarded Miss Columbia as Miss Universe 2015. A few minutes after being told by STEVE HARVEY that she was the winner, Miss Columbia had to take off the crown and give it to Miss Philippines, the real winner, because STEVE HARVEY got it all wrong. This was so awkward.

Boob pills

One day, a retired teacher in China receives a phone call from a charming young salesman who offered her some breast enlargement pills. "This stuff will change your life!" the salesman said. Well, six months later the only thing that's change in the life of this retired teacher is the amount of money in her bank account. Her name is Wang, she's 81 years old, and for the past six months she has spent over $25,000 on breast enhancement pills and other "HEALTH" products. Wang's daughter, Fang, tried to stop her mom from buying the products. But the retired teacher is smart, she would get secret phones to call the charming salesman back and order more boob pills.

Expensive apple

Apple is taking its Chinese marketing strategies to new heights. No, not that Apple, I'm talking about real apples. You know the ones that Chinese stewardess kiss and then sell at a higher price. Yeah, this is a real thing. "Take home the kisses of an air hostess" is the company's slogan. And they sell apples that have touched the sweet lips of the young flight attendants. Apple carts around China are using these photos to market their luscious apples. The apples are priced anywhere from $1.50 to as high as $20. The flight attendants are sold separately. All I want for Christmas is a kissed apple…


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