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THE WEEK Dec 11: Red alert

Updated: 2015-12-10
By THE WEEK (chinadaily.com.cn)
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Red alert

After weeks and weeks of heavily pollution, the day has finally come. For the first time since air quality control measures were instituted in March, the city of Beijing has issued a RED ALERT. So this means Don't drive (well, some cars can drive), don't barbeque (restaurants will stay open), don't work (well, some people can work, as long as they work a flexible schedule), and don't go to school (but schools will decide if they want to take in students or not). The pollution in Beijing is bad, really bad. How bad? It's the equivalent of smoking about one cigarette every five days. Last month Beijing had a stretch of 4 days-in-a-row of 200 to 400 pm2.5 followed by days reaching 570. Visibility is no more than 300 to 500 meters. I guess I better cover up.

Upgrade rege

Here's a scene of a man travelling from Shanghai to New York who had a dream of sitting first class. He had a vision of drinking free champagne, and the confidence to make it happen… Only to have his upgrade denied and forced to sit in economy. The man's name is Mr. Lu. And Mr. Lu did not take kindly to this decision. So Mr. Lu tried sneaking into first class, but got caught. So then Mr. Lu stole a bottle of champagne, but got caught. Finally, Mr. Liu decided to run around the airplane in rage before being taken down by police. But even the police couldn't take the courageous Mr. Lu down. He was lying across the aisle while holding onto a seat. The police weren't able to handcuff him because in China, police are not allowed to handcuff crazy people, so they asked passengers to help them tie plastic zip-tie cuffs. Mr. Lu was carried off the plane kicking and screaming the entire time. I'm sorry Mr. Lu, better luck next time.

Jumpshot

We are all going to miss Kobe Bryant when he retires at the end of this NBA season. But nobody will miss him more than a Chinese teacher and his eight Chinese students in Jilin Province… They spent four hours in the freezing cold to draw out 'Forever 24' on the school's snow covered basketball court. Wei Xudong, a sophomore majoring in sculpturing at Beihua University said he fell in love with Kobe because, and I quote, "His shooting form was always so handsome and cool." Awww… When Bryant posted a link to his "Dear Basketball" letter on his Weibo social media account, the post was reposted over 147,000 times and received over 30,000 supportive comments. The Chinese sure love them some Kobe...

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